I wish I didn’t waste time rebooting my body with my mind creating worlds that dosn’t exist. I get so far in my dreams, sometimes surviving deeper fear and pain than I have ever faced in reality, but then I wake up and have achieved nothing, and I am only faced with the anticipation of those fears becoming my reality, I know I’m stronger in my dreams. In reality, will I collapse under the pressure, weep through a child’s eyes and cower away? Defeated, a failure.

If I didn’t need to sleep I could rule the world. I could watch the night skies without the pain of drained eyes, blushed cheeks and a weak body. I would explore the shadows and defeat the monsters. I would follow the stars that don’t exist anymore and wonder if I was going anywhere.

On a seperate, less romantic note

By the way you’re a fucking dick, nice to know you don’t have 5 minutes for me these days. Also just got told I would attract more guys if I wasn’t such a fag, nice to know what lovely friends are waiting for me back home. Really don’t want to leave. I know my friends are here now in Stoke.

I miss you.

I don’t want to cry again but this fucking hurts.

I don’t want to sleep.

x