don'tmakepromisesyoucan'tkeep.

may 23rd.
I’ve spent my day in an haze of physical and emotional exhaustion. Waking up was like having déjà vu of about a month ago, at first I was sleepy and dreamy and peaceful, and then I remembered why my eyes were sore, then I rolled over and stared at the wall, feeling numb.

It’s sinking in again, you’re not coming over, you’re not going to hold me anymore and you’re never going to feel what I thought you did. I’m annoyed at myself, I knew all along I was scared of opening myself up, being venerable, and this is why, I’ve only proved myself right. I should trust my instincts more; I just wanted to ignore them because they weren’t what I wanted to listen to, I wanted to be able to trust, I was stupid, I believed you were happy, just because I was.

I feel used. Stupid. Naive. I’m never doing this again. You’ve fucked it, for good.