I think I'm beginning to live more logically and less romantically. Maybe it’s just an effect of recent experiences; I think I'm less naive, either that or more in control of my emotions, there not as sporadic at the moment. Or it could just be the lack of sleep that lead to an inability to feel any emotion strongly when I feel weak and my muscles ache.

I feel like a burden at the moment so I'm going to stop being a burden and bugging everyone, I'm becoming paranoid because I'm annoying myself and so think I must be irritating everyone.

So I'm going to stop doing that and just keep to myself for a while.
I'm going to stop trying to find something in a person that isn’t there.
I'm sick of trying to impress everyone and keep everyone happy.
I need to spend some time working myself out; I'm still lost as to what I want. All I know is that I'm tired, irritable and sick of everything around me and the fucking empty words people keep talking at me.

I'm too angry about situations that I might be blowing out of proportion, to upset with people for no fault of their own. I need to sleep and clear my head.

Maybe I can explain things better tomorrow.